A Change Is Gonna Come

I've been wondering for a while whether I chose wisely when I decided to pursue a paralegal certificate. I've been working verrry part time at a lawyer's office since January and it's been a bit of a tough row to hoe. I've enjoyed the people I've been working with but I haven't always enjoyed the work. I haven't been learning as much as I hoped to learn because there's simply not enough time to dedicate to instruction. This is mainly because the office is run slapdash, at breakneck speed, and there's too much work for too few employees. I've told my friends that the best way to illustrate how I felt about working there was by comparing it to a hamster running in a wheel.

I've been wanting to leave the office for about a month now and free myself up to pursue other things but I've grown accustomed to it. Financially, certainly, but moreso because I'm stubborn in the sense that once I start something, I don't like to change unless change is somehow forced upon me. I'm basically not a boat rocker.

Well, that change has just been forced upon me. I've been let go. Sure, there's this little part of me that's nursing some wounded pride (I should have done it first, waaaa!) but the rest of me is breathing just a little bit easier. I can look at it philosophically and assure myself that now I've been set free to find something else that fits me better. I've learned things here of both a practical and an emotional nature and that's worth the effort I put in.

But man, I'm sure gonna miss the extra cash!

((Song: "A Change Is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke. Lyrics here:
http://theband.hiof.no/lyrics/a_change_is_gonna_come.html ))

Update Before Sleep

New job is still going fine. I've become fast friends with the office manager. She and I are only a few months apart in age and we seem to think alike and find the same things amusing. She's taken to me as fast as I've taken to her. We work very well together and she's got the patience of Job, I'll tell you what!

She tells me that when and if she finds work elsewhere -- the reasons for which I won't go into here but that don't have anything to do with job satisfaction or quality -- she said to me that she would "take me along with her." It's strange but I feel she's being completely sincere. She likes the way I work and I think she believes that I have a lot of potential in this field. I am grateful for the regard she holds for my efforts and I'm happy she thinks my work is worthwhile.

I started out in this job thinking that there was some sort of karmic reason for going to the gym and finding this job through there. I am thinking now that my path was really intended to set me up to meet my office manager instead of the lawyer himself. Call me silly if you will, but it feels rather preordained.

I told kiddo this weekend that many things happen for reasons that you might be completely unaware of at the start. Even seemingly horrible things have hidden golden moments. I told her she should never forget to look for those hidden things in her life.

Speaking of life, I'm pretty content with it right now. I'm working 10-13 hr days and enjoying myself, something I never in the world thought I'd EVER say! I'm going to the gym and feeling good about working out, another thing I would have sworn was the next thing to Hell itself. But I thought this morning on my way to work that I feel happy more consistently now than I did those last years of my marriage. I may be working harder but my life is mine again; I control its path. Feeling in control is a very powerful aphrodisiac.

Gloom, Despair, And Agony On Me

The new job is going as well as can be expected. I've been thrown in the deep end and I'm handling cases and drafting documents. I feel like I'm burning the candle at both ends but I want to make sure that I don't look like an idiot. I've been telling myself today that I simply have to stop getting all stressed out. I woke up this morning with a bit of stuffiness and the realization that the stress of the last few days has apparently kicked my almost-in-remission sickness of a few weeks ago back out of remission. I'm feeling the urge to cough more and more. My throat is sore and my head is achy. I'm not "sick," per se, but I don't feel good either. Damn it all.

I'm going to bed now. At 8:30, sheesh. But I simply can't afford to let this catch back up with me again.

((Song: "Gloom, Despair, And Agony On Me," sung by the cast of Hee Haw. Lyrics here:
http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/g/gloomdespairandagonyonme.shtml ))

Whistle While You Work

I've been told there are many hidden benefits from going to the gym and I can tell you right now, I'm a believer. I know all about developing bone density, preventing cancer or diabetes or heart attacks. I know it keeps you younger and keeps you healthy longer.

I just didn't know it could also benefit you fiscally.

So fast forward. I go and I meet this very nice girl that works out at the same time as my friend and I. She and I talk while we're readying ourselves for the day. One day last week I happen to mention I have a paralegal certificate and have been having trouble getting the experience I need to make the certificate worthwhile. I say I wouldn't mind volunteering a few hours a day to get that experience.

She says she owns a real estate business and across the building from her is this great lawyer who's a super nice, talented guy. She says she'll speak to him and see if he'd be willing to take a volunteer. I say thank you and go on about my day, thinking that like most things, it was idle talk. Not so. That very day -- last Thursday -- I get an email from the lawyer asking me to contact him! Surprised, I do. He asks me to come in on Monday (yesterday). I do.

I get there at the appointed time. We speak briefly and get along really well. I get along equally well with his associate. The lawyer says, "There's a problem with your suggestion to volunteer. There are ethical issues with having a non-employee see confidental client files. So if you're agreeable, I'll hire you as a part time employee. You come in the few hours a day that you can after you get off your current job and learn as much as you can. When I expand my practice -- as I intend to do within the next year -- there's a real possibility there'll be a position for you if you fit in and you'd like to take it. Deal?"

DEAL? DEAL? Hell yes, it's a deal!

So I have a(nother) job! At a real honest to goodness law firm! With opportunity I didn't have even two weeks ago.

And all because I went to this stupid gym.

Not so stupid now, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm????

(And oh yeah, I've also lost some inches. Woooot!!!)


((Song: "Whistle While You Work" by the Seven Dwarves. Lyrics here:
http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/snowwhiteandthesevendwarfs/whistlewhileyouwork.htm ))