This'll be a short little post this time around. It's late and I should be in bed. Instead I've been surfing the net looking at pictures of that gorgeous man, Ian Somerhalder. He plays Damon Salvatore on "The Vampire Diaries." Now if HE was a vampire in real life he could bite me anytime he liked.....
Er, as long as he gave me some notice. Maybe a few weeks or so. Why? So I could go get lipo and a tummy tuck. After all, I need to look GOOD if I'm going to be immortal!
Kiddo told me something amusing last weekend that I'm just now getting around to posting. She and her dad had been planning a pool get-together with their cousin for weeks. A few days before the scheduled get together, Yo finds out her sister is going to meet some guy that Yo's been wanting her to get together with. Yo decides she wants to be there with her sister and wants to stay home instead of go to the pool party thing.
Now if it'd been me I would have scooted the ex and the kiddo off to the pool party and stayed behind to make sure my sis hooked up with some guy if it had been that important to me. But not Yo! She wanted the ex and the kiddo to cancel their plans and stay home with her! Hah! The ex apparently tried to explain to her that this had all been planned for weeks and that it was rude to cancel at the last minute but Yo would hear none of it and -- according to the kiddo -- she stomped out of the house in a fit of temper and went to the park. Sheeeeeesh. I almost feel for the guy.
Almost.
Kiddo said the ex told her that she could go on by herself if she liked but she didn't. I think she really wanted to spend the time with her dad. So he caved. Dumbass. All that does is train her to act like a child if she wants to get her way. Ah well. We all make our beds, don't we?
((Song: "Kiss" by Prince. Lyrics here:
http://www.project80s.com/lyrics/song-lyrics.php?song=kiss-prince-revolution))
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
All I Have To Do Is Dream
I had the weirdest dream last night. It was something about riding on a train and traveling through Europe or whatever, but even weirder was sitting at a round table talking to someone while my mom dissected her father's torso like some bizarro scientific lab experiment. And even weirder than THAT? It didn't seem weird to me that she would be doing that. I would love to know what all that means. Ha!
I've been back to the gym now a couple times this week and so far so good. I hope I lose some of the visceral fat I've stored but I won't be holding my breath. Speaking of holding my breath, the past couple days I have noticed pain on the right side of my chest at the end of the inhalation when I breathe in very deeply. Eh. Hopefully it goes away. Anyway, I've got to keep exercising and get my circulation going. I'll do this for a few more weeks before I gauge how it might be helping the edema in my legs.
Christ, I sound 80.
I'm looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully kiddo can come by and we can head over to BFF's house to watch "True Blood" together but I kinda doubt it since she's watching my exSIL's disabled dachshund. Maybe next week! speaking of, I really need to get together with exSIL over the summer. Not only am I her exSIL because I divorced her husband's brother, but she's soon to be divorced from her hub as well. What does that make us? Still exSILs? Hm. Yeah, I think that still works. She's a great lady and a lot of fun. She reminds me of Carrie on SATC so that's gonna be her nickname here. Carrie!
Still having loads of fun with 30b. He's my virtual boyfriend -- at least he's my char's BF and my FWB -- and I get all the great parts and none of the crap. Wow. Seriously, who needs to go get a real one?
((Song: "All I Have To Do Is Dream" by the Everly Brothers. Lyrics here:
http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/the_everly_brothers/all_i_have_to_do_is_dream.html ))
I've been back to the gym now a couple times this week and so far so good. I hope I lose some of the visceral fat I've stored but I won't be holding my breath. Speaking of holding my breath, the past couple days I have noticed pain on the right side of my chest at the end of the inhalation when I breathe in very deeply. Eh. Hopefully it goes away. Anyway, I've got to keep exercising and get my circulation going. I'll do this for a few more weeks before I gauge how it might be helping the edema in my legs.
Christ, I sound 80.
I'm looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully kiddo can come by and we can head over to BFF's house to watch "True Blood" together but I kinda doubt it since she's watching my exSIL's disabled dachshund. Maybe next week! speaking of, I really need to get together with exSIL over the summer. Not only am I her exSIL because I divorced her husband's brother, but she's soon to be divorced from her hub as well. What does that make us? Still exSILs? Hm. Yeah, I think that still works. She's a great lady and a lot of fun. She reminds me of Carrie on SATC so that's gonna be her nickname here. Carrie!
Still having loads of fun with 30b. He's my virtual boyfriend -- at least he's my char's BF and my FWB -- and I get all the great parts and none of the crap. Wow. Seriously, who needs to go get a real one?
((Song: "All I Have To Do Is Dream" by the Everly Brothers. Lyrics here:
http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/the_everly_brothers/all_i_have_to_do_is_dream.html ))
Friday, June 11, 2010
Let's Talk About Sex, Baby
Earlier this week the ex texted me and wanted me to meet with him and Yo at a local restaurant to talk over some things about the kiddo. It was in regards to an interesting dilemma that I'm sure many parents of gay and lesbian teens face -- "should she have sleepovers with friends that are girls?" We had a long talk about it. Some things were said that I took exception to (mostly about the general concept as opposed to the kiddo herself) and by evening's end things were worked out to a conclusion that was acceptable to all parties, including the kiddo.
The things I took exception to were about sex in general. I was surprised that I took exception to them, actually, and while listening to the ex and Yo talk I was quietly amused at myself at how far I've come in the last three years since my divorce.
The ex and Yo upheld that double standard -- the thing that chafed at me as a young woman and chafes at me doubly so now. A son? Well, he's supposed to have sex or at least isn't crucified if he does. A daughter? We taught her better than that, and oh no, he's a whore! Grrr. Something else said made me wonder how getting someone pregnant was less tragic than getting pregnant. Even when reminded that our kiddo wouldn't get pregnant I could see that the issue of his daughter's sexuality (not being lesbian, just being a female!) was an uncomfortable one for him.
Female sexuality. Ah yes. We're supposed to be the picky choosy ones. Held to a better standard of behavior and dismissed or denigrated if we don't uphold it. It reminded me of when the ex and I were dating and I slept with him on the first night, but rebuffed him for a few weeks after that. Some months later he remarked that he had at first held no respect for me until I began to rebuff him. I remembered how livid I was that he felt he could sit in judgement of me while reserving no equal judgment concerning his own behavior. Objectively I understand the underlying concern -- "if she'll give it away to me so easily, than how can I be certain she won't give it to someone else or that I'm special?" but sujectively, it is nothing but hypocrisy to me. I guess since I have changed my attitude about sex from 'only done when in love with grave seriousness" to "enjoy it as the pleasure that it is as such things may be fleeting," this sort of insecurity is something I have little patience with.
Hand me the bad parent of the year award right now if you wish but I wasn't overly concerned about the idea of my daughter having sex with a girlfriend. She's 17, she knows about STDs, her risk of pregnancy is nil, and realistically I know that a few hours grabbed at someone's house hanging out of an evening is just as easy for a rendezvous as anything else. She's lesbian but she's also a girl, and females (broadly speaking) are not as indiscriminately sex-focused as males. Whereas men think sexual thoughts dozens of times a day, women can and do go days without having a sexual thought. I am simply not as concerned about my almost-adult daughter's choices.
That said, I know she's in a vastly different place than I am. I'm careful not to share the breadth of my sexual life with my daughter just yet. She needs to learn about her own reactions to situations and how she feels before she tries to emulate the more world-weary attitudes that I have as a 40+ woman. She's not there yet. She doesn't need me to confuse the issue. I give her age-appropriate answers when she asks and share my thoughts that sex should be and is a very important and intimate facet of a relationship. I let her know that compatibility is vitally important.
In other somewhat related news, the ex and Yo have been trying to get pregnant, something I've known about for the last couple months. She's been taking prenatal vitamins and all. Well, it appears that they've been having difficulties and she's saying it can't be her because she had a baby just five years ago while it's been 17 for him so she's wanting to get him tested. He'll have to go do a happy in a cup, I suppose. Ha! He asked me if I thought they might've clipped something during his testicular tortion surgery about 15 yrs back. Maybe, but in doing a bit of research it's more likely his body produced anti-sperm antibodies, something that is apparently a side-effect of the tortion and surgery. Who knows? That's for them to worry about....
I've been playing about with the new templates and will for a while. Bear with me!
((Song: "Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt-n-Pepa. Lyrics here:
http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Lyrics/Lets-Talk-About-Sex-Salt-n-Pepa.html))
The things I took exception to were about sex in general. I was surprised that I took exception to them, actually, and while listening to the ex and Yo talk I was quietly amused at myself at how far I've come in the last three years since my divorce.
The ex and Yo upheld that double standard -- the thing that chafed at me as a young woman and chafes at me doubly so now. A son? Well, he's supposed to have sex or at least isn't crucified if he does. A daughter? We taught her better than that, and oh no, he's a whore! Grrr. Something else said made me wonder how getting someone pregnant was less tragic than getting pregnant. Even when reminded that our kiddo wouldn't get pregnant I could see that the issue of his daughter's sexuality (not being lesbian, just being a female!) was an uncomfortable one for him.
Female sexuality. Ah yes. We're supposed to be the picky choosy ones. Held to a better standard of behavior and dismissed or denigrated if we don't uphold it. It reminded me of when the ex and I were dating and I slept with him on the first night, but rebuffed him for a few weeks after that. Some months later he remarked that he had at first held no respect for me until I began to rebuff him. I remembered how livid I was that he felt he could sit in judgement of me while reserving no equal judgment concerning his own behavior. Objectively I understand the underlying concern -- "if she'll give it away to me so easily, than how can I be certain she won't give it to someone else or that I'm special?" but sujectively, it is nothing but hypocrisy to me. I guess since I have changed my attitude about sex from 'only done when in love with grave seriousness" to "enjoy it as the pleasure that it is as such things may be fleeting," this sort of insecurity is something I have little patience with.
Hand me the bad parent of the year award right now if you wish but I wasn't overly concerned about the idea of my daughter having sex with a girlfriend. She's 17, she knows about STDs, her risk of pregnancy is nil, and realistically I know that a few hours grabbed at someone's house hanging out of an evening is just as easy for a rendezvous as anything else. She's lesbian but she's also a girl, and females (broadly speaking) are not as indiscriminately sex-focused as males. Whereas men think sexual thoughts dozens of times a day, women can and do go days without having a sexual thought. I am simply not as concerned about my almost-adult daughter's choices.
That said, I know she's in a vastly different place than I am. I'm careful not to share the breadth of my sexual life with my daughter just yet. She needs to learn about her own reactions to situations and how she feels before she tries to emulate the more world-weary attitudes that I have as a 40+ woman. She's not there yet. She doesn't need me to confuse the issue. I give her age-appropriate answers when she asks and share my thoughts that sex should be and is a very important and intimate facet of a relationship. I let her know that compatibility is vitally important.
In other somewhat related news, the ex and Yo have been trying to get pregnant, something I've known about for the last couple months. She's been taking prenatal vitamins and all. Well, it appears that they've been having difficulties and she's saying it can't be her because she had a baby just five years ago while it's been 17 for him so she's wanting to get him tested. He'll have to go do a happy in a cup, I suppose. Ha! He asked me if I thought they might've clipped something during his testicular tortion surgery about 15 yrs back. Maybe, but in doing a bit of research it's more likely his body produced anti-sperm antibodies, something that is apparently a side-effect of the tortion and surgery. Who knows? That's for them to worry about....
I've been playing about with the new templates and will for a while. Bear with me!
((Song: "Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt-n-Pepa. Lyrics here:
http://www.popculturemadness.com/Music/Lyrics/Lets-Talk-About-Sex-Salt-n-Pepa.html))
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I'm Living Every Minute...
Let's see......
1) It's All For The Best moment -- Mr. Epic Fail of the previous post has bowed out of the ring. That's quite all right by me. I haven't missed him a bit.
2) Great news of the week -- HD told me last night he just might be able to get to the States! I'm thrilled about that and will make a herculean effort to meet him wherever he may be. It might be (probably will be) my only chance so I am there.
3) Relating to #2 -- Now to get the body I had a year or so back. Man, have I let myself go. I think I'm only a couple pounds from my cutoff weight of 140 and for a 5'0" woman, 140 is getting a bit on the iffy side of chunky. So hi ho, hi ho, it's to the gym I go! Next week! I just got a good rejoin deal from my old gym sent to me so I'll take advantage of it this week and sign back up. I'll start off doing spin 3 days a week until I make sure it doesn't kill me and then add strength training.
4) Berate self pause -- TOO MANY CARBS! Bad girl! Bad!
5) "Drop Dead Diva" is a damn funny show. It's borderline goofball and trite at times but there are very few shows that aren't at one time or another. The lead character is great and it's one of those things you can sit back and watch. Other shows (from both this side of the pond and overseas) that are great: "Dead Like Me," "The Vampire Diaries," "Being Human," "Dexter," "True Blood," and "Being Erica."
6) Argh, I have floaties in my eyes that are bugging me. That and I've noticed my vision is a little cloudier and I have to hold things farther away. Age is grand. Not.
7) Haven't thought of an appropriate nickname for my sweet 30-boy from last month but he is a true and total dear. FWB? Yeah, that might have to do though I'd rather have something a bit more unique than that. (Hell, maybe just 30b?) He mentioned the phrase himself last night and then admitted he was a bit awkward about that designation as it wasn't something he'd ever indulged in before. But we're still having a good time and he's a hell of a lot of fun. No gift horse looking here!
Okay, I'm done. Peace out!
((Song: "S.E.X" by Adam and the Ants. Lyrics here:
http://www.project80s.com/lyrics/song-lyrics.php?song=sex-adam-ant ))
1) It's All For The Best moment -- Mr. Epic Fail of the previous post has bowed out of the ring. That's quite all right by me. I haven't missed him a bit.
2) Great news of the week -- HD told me last night he just might be able to get to the States! I'm thrilled about that and will make a herculean effort to meet him wherever he may be. It might be (probably will be) my only chance so I am there.
3) Relating to #2 -- Now to get the body I had a year or so back. Man, have I let myself go. I think I'm only a couple pounds from my cutoff weight of 140 and for a 5'0" woman, 140 is getting a bit on the iffy side of chunky. So hi ho, hi ho, it's to the gym I go! Next week! I just got a good rejoin deal from my old gym sent to me so I'll take advantage of it this week and sign back up. I'll start off doing spin 3 days a week until I make sure it doesn't kill me and then add strength training.
4) Berate self pause -- TOO MANY CARBS! Bad girl! Bad!
5) "Drop Dead Diva" is a damn funny show. It's borderline goofball and trite at times but there are very few shows that aren't at one time or another. The lead character is great and it's one of those things you can sit back and watch. Other shows (from both this side of the pond and overseas) that are great: "Dead Like Me," "The Vampire Diaries," "Being Human," "Dexter," "True Blood," and "Being Erica."
6) Argh, I have floaties in my eyes that are bugging me. That and I've noticed my vision is a little cloudier and I have to hold things farther away. Age is grand. Not.
7) Haven't thought of an appropriate nickname for my sweet 30-boy from last month but he is a true and total dear. FWB? Yeah, that might have to do though I'd rather have something a bit more unique than that. (Hell, maybe just 30b?) He mentioned the phrase himself last night and then admitted he was a bit awkward about that designation as it wasn't something he'd ever indulged in before. But we're still having a good time and he's a hell of a lot of fun. No gift horse looking here!
Okay, I'm done. Peace out!
((Song: "S.E.X" by Adam and the Ants. Lyrics here:
http://www.project80s.com/lyrics/song-lyrics.php?song=sex-adam-ant ))
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