Tuesday, February 20, 2007

"Boston"

In the light of the sun
Is there anyone
Oh it has begun
Oh dear you look so lost
Eyes are red
And tears are shed
This world you must have crossed
You said you don't know me
And you don't even care
Oh yeah she said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains
Oh yeah

Essential yet appealed
Carry all your thoughts
Across an open field
When flowers gaze at you
They're not the only ones
Who cry when they see you
You said you don't know me
And you don't even care
Oh yeah she said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains Oh yeah

She said I think I'll go to Boston
Think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
Where no one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
Think I'll get a lover
And fly him out to Spain

I think I'll go to Boston
I Think that I'm just tired
I Think I need a new town
To leave this all behind
I Think I need a sunrise
I'm tired of a sunset
I hear it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice

Oh yeah Boston
Where no one knows my name (yeah)
no one knows my name (yeah)
no one knows my name (yeah)
Boston
Where no one knows my name



((Song: "Boston" by Augustana. Lyrics reprinted above and here:
http://www.augustanamusic.com/augustana_boston_lyrics.html))

Monday, February 19, 2007

It's Killing Me and Taking Control

You're such an idiot.

You sit here, and you watch what is happening. And you know. You know. You tell yourself it's just your imagination, but you know.

We are all our patterns, aren't we? Every last one of us.


((Song: "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers. Lyrics here:
http://www.thekillersweb.yaia.com/lyricshotfuss.html))

And We can Act Like We Come From Out of This World..

An observation I made this morning driving to work made me think about how one's perspectives change as one gets older. I'll use my personal perspective of course, but you can apply the same logic to nearly any one of your own long-held beliefs or feelings that fade or change as you age.

I passed a gas station and looked over and saw a car. Not any car, mind you. This one was painted end to end with Japanese anime. This wasn't a business car painted for advertising purposes but someone's private vehicle. It had eyes where the front headlights were with little bunny whiskers, and along the sides were pictures of things like Sailor Moon, manga stuff and all sorts of things like Dragonball Z.

My first thought was a "huh?" followed by a "jeez they should be embarrassed." In my younger years, my thoughts would have halted there as I revelled in the sense of superiority I had because I knew better than to look like such a dork.

But that didn't happen this morning. My thoughts continued. I gave an inward chuckle, then found myself becoming impressed by their chutzpah. And then finally, admiration for their individuality and their ability to live as they pleased, outwardly being the person they loved to be and showing everyone the things they enjoyed in life.

The difference here, I realized suddenly, was that I no longer feel that need to feel superior to others in order to make myself look better in my own internal eye. I acknowledged the envy that I'd always hidden away for people brave enough to do whatever they wanted and to hell with whatever anyone else thought. I acknowledged that now, at the age that I am and with all the steps I'm taking in my life to move towards some new places, that I felt good enough in my own skin to give them a mental high five for their willingness to put themselves out there.

And as I drove on with a grin on my face, I didn't feel the need to judge them as much as hope to be like them. It didn't matter to me that what they enjoyed wasn't what ~I~ thought was worth anything valuable. What mattered was that someone out there was living life on their own terms. Because as long as one person is doing it, there was hope for all of us.

And believe me, optimism isn't one of my more comfortable hats. But I think I like the way it looks on me.

((Song: "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. Lyrics here:
http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/safetydancelyrics.html))

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Sexy Valentine's Poems

Yes, I know Val's Day was yesterday, but so what? I was reading a bit on Slate about some sexy poems (find them at: http://www.slate.com/id/2159730/fr/flyout)) and thought to share them here. I love the idea that no matter the time period, people were celebrating the ideas and thoughts of love, sex, lust, and desire.


--
The word expense means, literally, a pushing out or an ejaculating, and some scholars read that meaning, along with the old meaning of spirit as a synonym for semen, in this sonnet by William Shakespeare. Could Frost, when he wrote his sonnet "Putting in the Seed," have had this predecessor in mind? Shakespeare ends his poem with two lines that make suitable last words for this anthology:

THE EXPENSE OF SPIRIT

The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust;
Enjoyed no sooner but despised straight;
Past reason hunted and no sooner had,
Past reason hated as a swallowed bait
Laid on purpose to make the taker mad:
Mad in pursuit, and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.
...All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
...To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.

---

There's nothing implicit or mysterious about Robert Herrick's 17th-century poem about a nighttime erection and wet dream:

THE VINE

I dream'd this mortal part of mine
Was Metamorphoz'd to a Vine;
Which crawling one and every way
Enthralled my dainty Lucia.
Me thought, her long small legs & thighs
I with my Tendrils did surprize;
Her Belly, Buttocks, and her Waste
By my soft Nerv'lits were embrac'd:
About her head I writhing hung,
And with rich clusters (hid among
The leaves) her temples I behung:
So that my Lucia seem'd to me
Young Bacchus ravisht by his tree.
My curles about her neck did craule,
And armes and hands they did enthrall:
So that she could not freely stir,
(All parts there made one prisoner.)
But when I crept with leaves to hide
Those parts, which maids keep unespy'd,
Such fleeting pleasures there I took,
That with the fancie I awook;
And found (Ah me!) this flesh of mine
More like a Stock, than like a Vine.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Sometimes I Wish to God I Didn't Know Now the Things I Didn't Know Then

It's been a rough couple of weeks. It's been rough because the light at the end of the tunnel that I've been seeing for the last few years -- the one that signalled that oncoming train -- has finally managed to run me over. That it is a bittersweet injury makes it all the more painful.

It always is when something that you believed was going to be forever -- is not. No matter how much your rational self knows that what is happening now was an inevitable thing and that nothing in this world is static, that things change, people change, internally and externally.....that things happen to you that you cannot predict....that growth is part of life and sometimes causes death.......it is hard to tell that to your heart and your soul. Those parts of you don't like to admit those truths. They want to find the proverbial sandpit, the better to stick their head in. Hide like children in plain sight.

I'll be pulling these children out of that sandpit soon. It is about time that I do.


((Song: "Something To Believe In" by Poison. Lyrics: http://wcafe.com/poison/flshlyrc.htm#believe))