Saturday, August 21, 2010

Hello, Yeah It's Been A While

Not much. How bout you?

Since vacation ended I've been busy. I came home to a whole new set of job responsibilities and the last couple weeks have been a whirlwind. Even though there's been a lot of pressure put on me with these new tasks I think it does me good in the long run. I've found my job more interesting recently -- always a big plus. I also have much more ammunition in the raise category. A few more weeks, enough to show what I've been producing (now that what I produce is a contractual obligation between my company and clients rather than just in-house) and I will go for that raise.

Personally, a thing has -- um, may have? -- come up but it's not really anything I want to talk about just yet. So I'll move on.

A co-worker of mine -- a rather nice-looking man a few years older than me but with a young attitude and a perennial bachelor -- invited me out for coffee after work a few days ago. The men friends I've told about this say it was a de facto date, something a man does when he doesn't have the cahones to ask you out on a real date but would rather test the waters. I was glad they agreed with my initial assessment of the situation. Anyway coffee ended up being dinner (a sandwich shop next door to the coffee joint, not anything we had to plan or drive to) and afterwards a pleasant goodbye and a "See you at work!"

He and I are vastly different people. We share outlooks on many things but come to them from different perspectives and first and foremost, he is quite religious and I am not at all. He's a very nice guy, don't get me wrong, but we're just different. I'm glad we spent time together and I hope that I can continue to have nice conversations with him but, unless he didn't get the vibes that I was sending his way, that is the extent of my interest.

It was a nice time, though. At least I wasn't in front of my computer.

Hah!

((Song: "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight" by England Dan & John Ford Coley. Lyrics here:
http://www.sappylovesongs.net/SeeYouTonight.html ))

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I'm Back In the Saddle Again

Checking in!

I'm back from my vacation. The parents and the kiddo and I had a great time. We ended up driving about 2700 miles total. It was a bit more rushed this time around than it was 2 years ago since we'd added one destination (Chicago) to our itinerary. This time around was a lot more tiring for my parents -- so much so that if we do it again next year or a few years from now we'll take a plane. If you knew my mom you'd have a surprised and shocked look on your face about now. My mom's never been on a plane and has always sworn she wouldn't do it. When she said that was what she intended to do I could tell she was even more tired than she was letting on. Frankly, I'm pleased as punch. The drive is brutal, my parents are getting older, and I don't want to do it again.

During my time in Chicago I had a wonderful reunion with the girl who was my next door neighbor and best friend during kindergarten and first grade. (I saw her briefly when we were 15 on a visit back but except for that, we hadn't seen each other since we were 7.) We spent an evening at her house and she and her husband threw a backyard cookout for us. They currently own the house three doors down from the house I used to live in and two doors down from the one she grew up in and in which her father still lives. It was fantastic to see her and her family and she and I really bonded again. She's a lovely person.

As an aside -- her brother, 7 years older than we are, was the one I contacted to find her again. He didn't remember me from Adam and hadn't spoken to me in 35 years and yet, by my picture on Facebook, he began to flirt, calling me sexy and cute and saying we should date and all. Oh sheesh! I don't want a relationship (least of all with the brother of a friend of mine!) and I wish I'd had the presence of mind to ask him, "Oh, well, thanks! But hmmmmm, it depends. Are you rich?"

I figure if he can judge whether he wants to date me (i.e., have sex with me) by a picture, I can judge whether I want to date him (i.e., have sex with him) by the size of his wallet. If we're comparing pleasures, a European tour is just as enjoyable as a good lay. Don't ever think I can't be as shallow as a man can!

The funny and priceless moment of the trip? My dad -- bless his heart -- couldn't seem to get it through his head that his 40-something daughter had been driving for over two decades and could probably read roadsigns and directions even in unfamiliar territories (especially given that for 10 years my career was reading maps!) So he'd sit in the back seat making comments about how he could see my exit coming up or something of that nature and fall back on, "Well, I'm just saying!" when he was called on it. But my kiddo, my brilliant, funny, sarcastically witty kiddo, who was sitting in the backseat with him, had finally had enough of this on the way home. To yet another upcoming exit comment, kiddo just calmly said, "Soooo, pawpaw, what are you now, a tour guide?"

I nearly spewed my mouthful of coffee through my nose.

That's my girl!

Other than the great times with family and friends and pursuing a hobby of mine that often requires travel, I learned something else of vital importance on this vacation. I mentioned in my last post about those silly throat issues I've had since last year. Something that I sort of wondered about (or sort of already knew) demonstrated itself clearly to me over the week and a half we were gone. I noticed my throat issues went away significantly during my vacation. As in, I forgot to take my peppermint oil pills and didn't even realize it until the day before we were scheduled to leave.

Upon realizing this I also realized another important thing. I was breathing. Deep and normal breaths. Not holding my breath without realizing it until I drew in a deep breath on purpose. Not the shallow ones that I'd grown accustomed to taking with my chest tight. Not ones that I had to slow down or speed up to feel right. Deep, normal, relaxed breaths. I realized this because the morning I awoke to head home, the old style of breathing and such began again. By the time I arrived in my parking lot I was feeling my throat for the first time in a week.

Sonofabitch. It's stress. Fucking stress. More than that -- anxiety. It's slowly been building up in me for years now, I guess. I just never really noticed it. Perhaps that was what ate my gall bladder away and began my GERD. Perhaps it's causing my migranes. Perhaps, even now, it's destroying the tissues of my throat. It seems finally my body's had enough and it's letting me know it can't manage it any longer without physical repercussions. I need to stop it before it does any more damage.

So what am I going to do about it?

((Song: "Back In The Saddle Again" by Aerosmith. Lyrics here:
http://www.aerosmithfans.com/cds/words/0401.html ))