My last commenter prodded me to update. All right, then, let's discuss fantasy and reality.
Some people use fantasy -- games, etc -- to escape reality. To avoid reality. I do that at times, just like everyone else does. I did it a lot the last time I played before I divorced.
This time, though, I'm finding my needs are different ones. Oh, there's still a little of the need to escape, sure. But for the most part this time my desire to game springs from different origins. I'm using it to channel creativity and to interact and socialize. But primarily I am using it to create my own reality or extend my own reality.
In other words, I'm using the game to replace the things that I still desire to have in my reality in theory, but have learned don't actually work for me in practice. I can be that woman that is able to be all the things I would like to be if I weren't who I was and give to another all the things that the real me can't give. I write the script and what's more, if I don't like what I wrote, I can walk away without hurting anyone.
I am, though her, the ultimate voyeur to my own life.
(Song: "Sometimes A Fantasy" by Billy Joel. Lyrics here:
http://www.billyjoel.com/music/glass-houses/sometimes-a-fantasy))
