Monday afternoon, at her invitation, I met with Yo after work. We spent a few hours chatting over coffee.
I don't know what my expectations were going in and I really tried not to think about it all that much. There was some initial nervousness, definite hesitation, and qualifications offered up for statements before they were uttered. To her credit she brought up what she called the "white elephant in the room" (the fact that everyone we know feels and acts uncomfortable when she and I are in the same room together) with a maturity belying her years. Hopefully it's now on its way to being smoothed over.
Rather than go over all the excruciatingly tedious details I'd rather just explore my impressions. She's more than I gave her credit for. I'm more than she gave me credit for. She wanted to know how the exh and I could remain friends and I think much of what I said -- and how I said it -- helped to ease her mind in that regard. We touched on each other's hidden insecurities and thoughts and bringing them out into the open helped release us from their power. As we left, she said she thought she understood now why everyone she spoke to said that if she got to know me, she'd like me. She expressed this with relief, as if it was now "okay" for her to like me, too.
Things like that just take time and I'm pretty sure it would have happened of its own accord eventually, but her willingness to face it head on instead of scurry around it, ignore it or backpedal earned her my respect. I understand now why the exh found her attractive. As I left her, I told her that I hoped she made him happy because although I'd tried, I just couldn't seem to do it. And for the first time, I actually meant it.
((Song: "Revolution" by the Beatles. Lyrics here:
http://www.beatleslyricsarchive.com/viewSong.php?songID=234 ))
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