Listen To The Band

After a few days of wallowing in self-pity again -- in which, thankfully, I refrained from posting in this blog -- I am back on the proverbial horse. And since this blog of mine has been heavy peasant food for a while I feel in the mood for some lighter fare. On to the music!

I have listened to music for as long as I can remember. It’s helped me keep my sanity through otherwise difficult periods. Honestly, there were some points where I don’t know how I would have survived without it. I was a nerd girl in high school and had a select few friends. I wasn’t very popular – and truly, I didn’t even want to be because I was happy where I was. I saw a lot of people trying like hell to be someone else and I wanted no part of it.

But I had my own share of problems. My parents had a strained marriage at the time, they were always arguing and such. I think back and realize now that they were just a few years older then than I am now. They were just two people trying to adjust to things between them and not always getting it right. Boy do I ever understand! I didn’t like the fighting but even then I think at some level I knew what they were going through. I just didn’t have the wisdom then that I do now.

Anyway, music helped me get through and that’s why the titles of all my blog entries are lyrics to songs. And now? Even though music still means a lot to me, my love for it has become an echo of what it used to be when I was a teen. The last years have been so stressful that I haven't let it move me like it used to or carry me through. Who knows, maybe I just lost the rememberence of it somewhere along the way.

I am planning to head out of town this weekend to an old friend's house...a friend who used to be my boss when he was in his 30s and I was barely 19. He was my journalism professor and my boss at my college newspaper. I'll affectionally call him Sgt from now on because he's the guy I think of when I think of the Beatles. I credit him with exposing me to more than just the new romantic/Brit pop stuff I limited myself to in the 80s. I can't express what an incredible gift he gave me by doing that. He taught me about the 60s -- the Beatles and the Doors and the Stones.

Following his guidance I moved on by myself into further exploration. I found the Monkees, a group I still absolutely adore. I own everything they did on vinyl -- some still sealed! Anyway, I followed them around on their tour in the late 80s and met all of them and hung out on Davy's tour bus and watched movies and ate breakfast with Peter and his family. Oh my, that was a great time! A rich time in my life for sure.

The trip this weekend to see Sgt made me think that I hadn't burned any of my Monkees stuff to my Zen. I did so last night and today here at work I've been listening to all the music that moved me in the late 80s and inspired me to run off with the band.

As each song comes on my Zen I'm wondering why I let all of them languish unheard for so long. My mind spins up memories; these songs are paintings from my past. My mood has lifted. I'm feeling so light. I'm smiling. My heart is swelling, I feel full and free and blessed to be alive. I feel like walking through that Door Into Summer. I feel like I could do anything. I feel ageless. Timeless.

And that is what music does. That's why it's the best.


((Song: "Listen To The Band" by the Monkees. Lyrics here:
http://www.monkees.net/DOCS/LYRICS/LISTENTO.html ))