All Those People, All Those Lives

Things are going better now. All my tests came back normal, even my thyroid. Well, borderline normal. I firmly believe that my thyroid has been spiking and when it does, it sends me into these crazy, shaky episodes. Whether or not my labwork shows me anything concrete, I know my own body and I know that I am symptomatic on occasion. I am pleased that I don't have any serious health issues -- my MRI looks fine as does my nerve conduction tests -- so I will be extra vigilant and pay extra attention to my symptoms when they occur. My doctor will retest me in 2 months and we'll go from there. In the meantime I'll do some research for natural ways to self-regulate. I'm also considering yoga classes. Getting some flexibility back and some meditative time sure sounds attractive about now. I have to admit I'm feeling better just knowing I can retain some control. Goodness, I'm Type A. Hah!

I've planned a family vacation for the end of July to visit my brother and his wife as well as a few more scattered family members. My parents and the kiddo and I are heading to the land of my birth; the Midwest. I have lived in Texas for 3/4ths of my life but the Midwest has always remained my "center" no matter how much family I establish here. My family lived in the Midwest since 1839 -- almost 160 years on the same piece of land. There is a marker from the state commemorating this fact on the front part of our property. My parents own part of that land and they intend to deed it to me in the next five years so that in case they should have unforeseen medical expenses and/or go to a nursing home, the state cannot take the land from them to pay debt. I don't know that I'll ever live there again -- there's virtually no job market and it's very agrarian -- but it is important to me. Each time I've ventured back (1982, 1995, 2001) I've felt this tug in my soul akin to a spiritual coming home and it shakes me to the core every time. I love that place. Who knows....I might build there when I retire.

Anyway, I'm an avid genealogist and have been for the last sixteen years; one of my points of pride has been the book I've written about my family. It was based on an ancestor of mine and his fifteen children. I traced the lineage of all fifteen so it took me eight years to complete and when all was said and done, it consisted of a little over 3000 people. This ancestor lived in the Northeast, then moved to the Midwest as well but in a different state than the one I was speaking of earlier. I never expected to see this area for myself because I had no real reason to go there.....until now. Why? Because by an odd twist of fate my world-traveling brother and his wife (they once lived in the foothills of the Himalayas) decided to settle in the Midwest. The two of them had not read my book and were not aware of the state our ancestor had once lived in, but by damned if they didn't go and buy a house 30 miles away from the county where he once lived! Isn't that incredible?

I'm excited as hell because now I get to traipse through courthouses and cemeteries and libraries full of old documents and pedigrees. I get to walk the land that he did. I get to see if I can locate graves of aunts and uncles and cousins. I will do all this with my daughter in tow and hopefully she too will grow to appreciate these tangible threads of family when she sees the excitement in my face. When she was younger she called them "Mom's Dead People." Yeah, they are. But they're all alive in us.

((Song: "Cemetary Gates" by the Smiths. Lyrics here:
http://www.davemcnally.com/lyrics/TheSmiths/CEMETERYGATES(239).asp ))