A few things on my mind today.....
The kidney stones are gone! Apparently I passed the little buggers sometime in the last four years, thank the stars. The x-ray I had on Friday didn't show a single one.
Yes, an x-ray. My kidneys were still hurting so I went. That, and I couldn't.....well.....you know. Get "things" moving? Still can't to a great extent and there is a lot of that hanging around up in my upper transverse colon and bowels. That's what was hurting. It wasn't my kidneys at all.
Ya know -- and stop right here if you get queasy easily or it's just TMI -- I've always been a 3-days between kind of girl. I've since learned that's borderline chronic constipation. Hm, who knew? I just thought it was 'normal' for me. It hasn't affected me in the past much because I wasn't doing any sort of physical exertion but now that I'm working out regularly and my water needs have shot through the roof, things have changed. I was trying to drink plenty of fluids but it appears I hadn't done a bang-up job of it. Oh, and I was getting only miniscule amounts of fiber in my diet.
I've made changes but I have yet to see any....err....tangible results. I've got a vacation to go to on the 15th so I'd best get a move on, if you catch my drift. I bought some Bran Buds cereal and some Activia yogurt and I'll give those a whirl. I'm also taking medication and hopefully things will flush out and I can stop feeling miserable.
I'm also contemplating a completely and utterly scary move -- purchasing a foreclosed home. I can't say much more on that because it's still in that diaphanous stage of thought -- just drifting around in my head. Fifteen years fixed, less than my monthly rent.....I'd have equity.....being frightened of the debt.....I'd have something that is MINE.......but do I want to live in this state instead of moving to a different one for the next fifteen years?....do I have to just because I have a house?....would I get stuck and saddled with this? Etc., etc., etc. Gah.
((Song: "In Too Deep" by Sum 41. Lyrics here:
http://www.lyrics007.com/Sum%2041%20Lyrics/In%20Too%20Deep%20Lyrics.html ))
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Reality Check
I went to the gym today to do a short workout/introductory session with a personal trainer -- it's part of the package deal when you sign up. It wasn't a difficult workout but it did give me a bit of insight into some details.
First off, I weigh 137 now and I have a 36% BMI. That means I'm considered obese. Obese? GAHHHH!!!!! I have 49 lbs of body fat and 88 lbs of muscle/bones/lean tissue. He said he'd like to see me at 121 lbs with a 22% BMI, 27 lbs of body fat and 94 lbs of muscle/bones/lean tissue.
Ha. I haven't seen 121 lbs since I was 21 years old.
The trainer told me that it will easily take 8-10 months for that to happen. Currently he says I have about 77,000 calories to burn to reach the 121 lb goal, since each lb of body fat I now have will take a 3500 calorie burn to remove. 77,000/3500 = 22 lbs of fat that needs to be gone.
He also let me know that I need to EAT. The worst thing I could do, he said, is to tell my body to work harder yet deny it a steady supply of nourishment -- it will conserve by feeding off my muscle mass instead of my fat stores. He said that as we age, the body is losing muscle mass anyway and that lack of exercise only hastens the muscle atrophy. I have to admit that eating more has been a difficult thing for me even though I feel hungrier now. I've been on portion control for so long that it feels very "bad" of me to eat a lot. I've been maintaining 1000-1200 calories a day for a long time and he tells me that's placed my body in a long-term starvation mode, kicking my metabolism down even more from its naturally low starting point. Ack. I don't want that. I suspect that the dramatic weight loss I experienced in 2007 (approx 30 lbs in about 4 months) due to stress diminished my muscles stores rather than my fat stores.
I learned a lot from the session -- some that I knew already and was practicing, and other things that I knew in an abstract sense but had not done the connective thinking necessary to really understand it all.
I'm probably not doing enough and I will probably plateau at some point. I'll need to combat that by applying some muscle confusion techniques when that occurs. I'll also need to remember not to get frustrated and not give up. I'll be buying some resistance bands and using them at the house, and some dumbells too.
Good grief. I'm actually exercising! And liking it! Watch out people, the sky may just start falling any day now. Hee.
In other news, I'm heading out of town tomorrow afternoon to meet X. I haven't seen him since our trip to Las Vegas in December of '07 before my nasty bout of pneumonia. He's going to be in a big city about 3 hours away from me and called to ask if I could meet him (he didn't realize it was 3 hrs away, he thought it was only about 1 or 2 at most) and I told him sure. I said it was the least I could do since he treated me to Vegas! I managed to get a personal day off work and I don't have to drive back tomorrow night so we can both relax and go out to dinner and have a good time. My throat is a little sore right now and I've been feeling that for about 4 days since the weather changed. I've also had a headache off and on the last couple days too as well as an ache in my side near my right kidney that's tender. Here's hoping there's no replay of the meet X/get sick scenario of last time! Or (god forbid!) my kidney stones are moving!
Ehh, my life is just busybusybusy lately. Work, work, work. I haven't quite adjusted yet. I'll get there.
Time for bed. Must get my beauty sleep!
First off, I weigh 137 now and I have a 36% BMI. That means I'm considered obese. Obese? GAHHHH!!!!! I have 49 lbs of body fat and 88 lbs of muscle/bones/lean tissue. He said he'd like to see me at 121 lbs with a 22% BMI, 27 lbs of body fat and 94 lbs of muscle/bones/lean tissue.
Ha. I haven't seen 121 lbs since I was 21 years old.
The trainer told me that it will easily take 8-10 months for that to happen. Currently he says I have about 77,000 calories to burn to reach the 121 lb goal, since each lb of body fat I now have will take a 3500 calorie burn to remove. 77,000/3500 = 22 lbs of fat that needs to be gone.
He also let me know that I need to EAT. The worst thing I could do, he said, is to tell my body to work harder yet deny it a steady supply of nourishment -- it will conserve by feeding off my muscle mass instead of my fat stores. He said that as we age, the body is losing muscle mass anyway and that lack of exercise only hastens the muscle atrophy. I have to admit that eating more has been a difficult thing for me even though I feel hungrier now. I've been on portion control for so long that it feels very "bad" of me to eat a lot. I've been maintaining 1000-1200 calories a day for a long time and he tells me that's placed my body in a long-term starvation mode, kicking my metabolism down even more from its naturally low starting point. Ack. I don't want that. I suspect that the dramatic weight loss I experienced in 2007 (approx 30 lbs in about 4 months) due to stress diminished my muscles stores rather than my fat stores.
I learned a lot from the session -- some that I knew already and was practicing, and other things that I knew in an abstract sense but had not done the connective thinking necessary to really understand it all.
I'm probably not doing enough and I will probably plateau at some point. I'll need to combat that by applying some muscle confusion techniques when that occurs. I'll also need to remember not to get frustrated and not give up. I'll be buying some resistance bands and using them at the house, and some dumbells too.
Good grief. I'm actually exercising! And liking it! Watch out people, the sky may just start falling any day now. Hee.
In other news, I'm heading out of town tomorrow afternoon to meet X. I haven't seen him since our trip to Las Vegas in December of '07 before my nasty bout of pneumonia. He's going to be in a big city about 3 hours away from me and called to ask if I could meet him (he didn't realize it was 3 hrs away, he thought it was only about 1 or 2 at most) and I told him sure. I said it was the least I could do since he treated me to Vegas! I managed to get a personal day off work and I don't have to drive back tomorrow night so we can both relax and go out to dinner and have a good time. My throat is a little sore right now and I've been feeling that for about 4 days since the weather changed. I've also had a headache off and on the last couple days too as well as an ache in my side near my right kidney that's tender. Here's hoping there's no replay of the meet X/get sick scenario of last time! Or (god forbid!) my kidney stones are moving!
Ehh, my life is just busybusybusy lately. Work, work, work. I haven't quite adjusted yet. I'll get there.
Time for bed. Must get my beauty sleep!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Feeling Good Was Good Enough For Me
I haven't measured myself this week to see if I've lost any more inches but it sure doesn't feel like it. I've been eating like a pig and only working out 4 days a week the last couple of weeks. I'm paying for it, apparently -- I've felt bloaty and miserable. I'd love to blame it on PMS or "that time of the month" but I can't. I was neutered way back in '01 and haven't had to deal with any of that in years. Amen, Hallelulah.
I do have a kinda-sorta-almost-but-not-quite-near excuse for the 4-day workouts. I did some leg lifts last Thursday that I (obviously) did wrong. I strained my back something awful and stayed home from work on Friday, taking Aleve and generally feeling sorry for myself. I decided to look at it as a much needed Mental Health Day.
The kiddo spent last weekend with me and she and I had a great time. We hung out at my BFFs place, where kiddo got a lesson on quadratic equations. BFF is a great teacher; she has had a lot of practice homeschooling her own three kiddos. She definitely has a "teacher mode" that she swings into for lessons and kiddo and I chuckled about that later. I'm sure that the lessons weren't what kiddo exactly considered a "great time" but in her defense, she was the one that took the initiative and brought her book along to my place. Good thing too; she's failing Algebra, got grounded, and is now attending tutorials at her school twice a week. I'm normally a stickler for grades but with Algebra I have difficulty mustering up the proper lecturing mode since I feel for her and understand her sense of simultanous struggle/apathy. I graduated Summa Cum Laude and the only reason I didn't graduate Magna was because of my stupid Algebra courses. Grrrr. They were just so difficult to wrap my head around. It's simply Greek to me, and useless, painful, ridiculous, pointless Greek at that. My kiddo and I are much alike in that regard.
Kiddo and I took a drive on Saturday night in the wee hours of the morning. The time had "sprung forward" and neither of us could sleep. We spent a few hours with our windows rolled down, enjoying the sights and talking and singing to the radio and laughing. I'm so lucky to have such a beautiful, unique, funny person for a daughter. I truly enjoy discovering all the whys and wherefores of how she thinks. We stopped for a snack at a greasy spoon and she told me she loved eating in places like that because they felt lived-in, like real people cooked there and made real food instead of the cookie cutter feel of chains. I drank my decaf (well for the love of God, it WAS 3 am!) and listened to her talk.
I'm going to miss these days when they're gone. I'm trying to remain cognizant of them and relish them as they happen. Life is all about these little details.
I'm feeling all right these days. I get sad on occasion but for the most part I'm doing well. I have so much in my life to feel grateful for.
((Song: "Me And Bobby McGee" by Janis Joplin. Lyrics here:
http://www.bluesforpeace.com/lyrics/bobby-mcgee.htm ))
I do have a kinda-sorta-almost-but-not-quite-near excuse for the 4-day workouts. I did some leg lifts last Thursday that I (obviously) did wrong. I strained my back something awful and stayed home from work on Friday, taking Aleve and generally feeling sorry for myself. I decided to look at it as a much needed Mental Health Day.
The kiddo spent last weekend with me and she and I had a great time. We hung out at my BFFs place, where kiddo got a lesson on quadratic equations. BFF is a great teacher; she has had a lot of practice homeschooling her own three kiddos. She definitely has a "teacher mode" that she swings into for lessons and kiddo and I chuckled about that later. I'm sure that the lessons weren't what kiddo exactly considered a "great time" but in her defense, she was the one that took the initiative and brought her book along to my place. Good thing too; she's failing Algebra, got grounded, and is now attending tutorials at her school twice a week. I'm normally a stickler for grades but with Algebra I have difficulty mustering up the proper lecturing mode since I feel for her and understand her sense of simultanous struggle/apathy. I graduated Summa Cum Laude and the only reason I didn't graduate Magna was because of my stupid Algebra courses. Grrrr. They were just so difficult to wrap my head around. It's simply Greek to me, and useless, painful, ridiculous, pointless Greek at that. My kiddo and I are much alike in that regard.
Kiddo and I took a drive on Saturday night in the wee hours of the morning. The time had "sprung forward" and neither of us could sleep. We spent a few hours with our windows rolled down, enjoying the sights and talking and singing to the radio and laughing. I'm so lucky to have such a beautiful, unique, funny person for a daughter. I truly enjoy discovering all the whys and wherefores of how she thinks. We stopped for a snack at a greasy spoon and she told me she loved eating in places like that because they felt lived-in, like real people cooked there and made real food instead of the cookie cutter feel of chains. I drank my decaf (well for the love of God, it WAS 3 am!) and listened to her talk.
I'm going to miss these days when they're gone. I'm trying to remain cognizant of them and relish them as they happen. Life is all about these little details.
I'm feeling all right these days. I get sad on occasion but for the most part I'm doing well. I have so much in my life to feel grateful for.
((Song: "Me And Bobby McGee" by Janis Joplin. Lyrics here:
http://www.bluesforpeace.com/lyrics/bobby-mcgee.htm ))
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Way Up Firm And High
I weighed myself on Friday and I weighed in at 135.5 lbs. I measured myself on Sunday night and I've lost 1 inch on my hips, waist and chest and a 1/2 inch on my thighs. I've gained a 1/2 inch around my biceps and calves.
Boo yah!
I'm a petite lady at 5' 0" but (other than in high school when I was thisbigaround) as I've matured I've developed into what I call barrel-shaped. Thank my German ancestors for that. Thicker middle, stick arms and stick legs. And yes, I'm also stacked. Thanks for nothing in that department, maternal German ancestry!
I've always wanted to reduce the "girls." I hate bras and it's the first thing I get rid of when I get home in the evening. I should have started wearing a bra in the sixth grade but it was the eighth before I finally started doing so. I just wore big jackets. I've wondered if I did some connective tissue damage since I was by no means small-busted. I say that because frankly, I look like a bushwoman when I don't wear a bra. Flat and to my navel. Bleh.
Anyway, I'd tried here and there over the years to look for something to give me a more rounded, perky look to no avail. I jiggle like a bowl of jello, I don't stay in the silly things when I lean over....you name it. No matter what I bought I'd constantly have to pull it down in the back because it rode up. To me, that translated into "it's not supportive enough to hold the weight" so I'd buy a bigger cup size to counter that problem. Nothing seemed to work, though, and finally I'd just given up and settled into wearing the matronly styles. Plus, I hated the idea of spending any more than $20 on a bra. Especially if they'd ride up and be a general pain in the ass. No way I was spending good money on that!
Over the past month my workout partner/co-worker BK kept telling me over and over that I wasn't wearing the right size bra. She told me that instead of the 36C/40D size range (depending on brand) that I'd been wearing for most of the last 20 years, I should be wearing a much smaller size, relatively speaking. She pegged me for a 32DDD. I admit I didn't buy it. I didn't buy it at all. ME? A 32? Come on! No way.
However, she did look great in her bras. So I turned myself over to her -- if for no other reason than to shut her up and prove her wrong -- and she and I spent this past weekend on a mission. We went to a big girl's store and the lady measured me. Now I've been measured before, and at Victoria's Secret no less! -- but not like this lady did. Talk about a thorough job. Anyway, she measured me at a......yes. A 32.
Um. Aw, bloody hell. BK's eyes were triumphant.
I hate being proved wrong.
So.......we went looking for a bra and exhausted all possibilities save for Dillard's since it was the only place that carried my size. As I was trying them on I heard BK in conversation with the salesladies saying that it was freakish, how such a small lady could be so severely stacked. She meant for me to hear it, evil woman. I chuckled wryly. Whatever. I told her she was just jealous.
So yeah, I bought one. $63! Holy crap, I haven't spent that much money on one article of clothing since 1998. Turns out I'm going to have to special order my size. Yeah, get ready for it. 32I. Not D or E or even G. An I. Sheeeeeeeesh.
But holy smokes, I look good in my shirts. I don't jiggle or bounce. I feel like I'm in a vise, so maybe that's why. Too many years of wearing bras that didn't fit have spoiled me. I'll get used to it, I'm sure. The thing doesn't ride up in the back, the straps don't move, the support is phenomenal. And I love the way I look in it both in AND out of shirts. Like I'm 20 again!
Who knew you could buy 20 years back for 60 bucks?
((Song: "Night Moves" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band. Lyrics here:
http://mysite.verizon.net/silverbulletfan/Nghtmvs-Nghtmvs.html ))
Boo yah!
I'm a petite lady at 5' 0" but (other than in high school when I was thisbigaround) as I've matured I've developed into what I call barrel-shaped. Thank my German ancestors for that. Thicker middle, stick arms and stick legs. And yes, I'm also stacked. Thanks for nothing in that department, maternal German ancestry!
I've always wanted to reduce the "girls." I hate bras and it's the first thing I get rid of when I get home in the evening. I should have started wearing a bra in the sixth grade but it was the eighth before I finally started doing so. I just wore big jackets. I've wondered if I did some connective tissue damage since I was by no means small-busted. I say that because frankly, I look like a bushwoman when I don't wear a bra. Flat and to my navel. Bleh.
Anyway, I'd tried here and there over the years to look for something to give me a more rounded, perky look to no avail. I jiggle like a bowl of jello, I don't stay in the silly things when I lean over....you name it. No matter what I bought I'd constantly have to pull it down in the back because it rode up. To me, that translated into "it's not supportive enough to hold the weight" so I'd buy a bigger cup size to counter that problem. Nothing seemed to work, though, and finally I'd just given up and settled into wearing the matronly styles. Plus, I hated the idea of spending any more than $20 on a bra. Especially if they'd ride up and be a general pain in the ass. No way I was spending good money on that!
Over the past month my workout partner/co-worker BK kept telling me over and over that I wasn't wearing the right size bra. She told me that instead of the 36C/40D size range (depending on brand) that I'd been wearing for most of the last 20 years, I should be wearing a much smaller size, relatively speaking. She pegged me for a 32DDD. I admit I didn't buy it. I didn't buy it at all. ME? A 32? Come on! No way.
However, she did look great in her bras. So I turned myself over to her -- if for no other reason than to shut her up and prove her wrong -- and she and I spent this past weekend on a mission. We went to a big girl's store and the lady measured me. Now I've been measured before, and at Victoria's Secret no less! -- but not like this lady did. Talk about a thorough job. Anyway, she measured me at a......yes. A 32.
Um. Aw, bloody hell. BK's eyes were triumphant.
I hate being proved wrong.
So.......we went looking for a bra and exhausted all possibilities save for Dillard's since it was the only place that carried my size. As I was trying them on I heard BK in conversation with the salesladies saying that it was freakish, how such a small lady could be so severely stacked. She meant for me to hear it, evil woman. I chuckled wryly. Whatever. I told her she was just jealous.
So yeah, I bought one. $63! Holy crap, I haven't spent that much money on one article of clothing since 1998. Turns out I'm going to have to special order my size. Yeah, get ready for it. 32I. Not D or E or even G. An I. Sheeeeeeeesh.
But holy smokes, I look good in my shirts. I don't jiggle or bounce. I feel like I'm in a vise, so maybe that's why. Too many years of wearing bras that didn't fit have spoiled me. I'll get used to it, I'm sure. The thing doesn't ride up in the back, the straps don't move, the support is phenomenal. And I love the way I look in it both in AND out of shirts. Like I'm 20 again!
Who knew you could buy 20 years back for 60 bucks?
((Song: "Night Moves" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band. Lyrics here:
http://mysite.verizon.net/silverbulletfan/Nghtmvs-Nghtmvs.html ))
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