I Just Want To Say Hello Again

With the exception of BFF and Reb and two other girls (Queen and Cat) most of my friends are men. I had a group of friends that I got to know when they were 17-18 and I was 21. I'm 40 now and all of them are still my friends. I'll talk about all of these people in another entry.

Last night I got a call from an old friend -- one of those who is a longer-standing friend than the group I mentioned above. I met him when he was 11 and he's now in his late 30s. I'll call him Grey.

Grey and I have had a bumpy ride. We met as children and knew ~of~ each other for some years. After a time he moved away with his family and I went my own way as well. He moved back when he got out of high school and we were introduced again.

We've spent the intervening years from then to now in various stages of friendship. We were close when we all hung out together during our college years. I married, so did he, he moved off, and we began to drift apart in the way of people whose lives move onto different paths. We would talk and keep in touch, sure, but then go through dry spells. Eventually we grew closer again and then a few years later abruptly we just stopped being friends. It was painful at the time and we weren't friends for a while. Then he came back a few years ago and apologized, and I accepted. There was a few awkward years full of questions and explanations, and eggshell moments. And here we are now. I am glad to call him friend again. I sure had missed him.

So anyway, Grey and I had a long talk, well over an hour. It was a very nice one, filled with moments of heavy and moments of light. For the most part our conversation -- not the words themselves but the echoes behind them -- filled me with warmth. I marvelled that so much had passed between us and that its poison had lost its sting, leaving only its scar behind. And that the scar, now healed, has left us stronger. We've passed through that gauntlet, you see. We know we can survive.

That thought gives me so much hope.


((Song: "My Sacrifice" by Creed. Lyrics here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/creed/mysacrifice.html ))