Carl Jung identified something that he called the concept of synchronicity -- an acausal principle, whereas there are effects without causes. Things seemingly random and unique, independent of each other, but connected somehow. I think I've been experiencing just such a synchronicity lately in my friendships. Some of them seem to be changing or expanding or growing, all in different ways, but all in the space of just a few days. I cannot help but feel these events are connected although there is really no probable way that they are.
I spoke about a month ago about the burgeoning friendship between my stbx and myself. We spent most of the day together today sitting in front of my computer, drawing up the divorce petition and agreement. What a strange sense of comfortableness and camraderie there was between us as we talked through everything. Not one cross word or random negative feeling to pollute anything. Afterward we took the kiddo with us to visit my parents and sat there with them laughing and talking, just like we used to do. And as I drove home with stbx in the backseat and kiddo in the front I found myself thinking that it was really incredible that we had not lost the ability to feel like a family even though we may have redefined what that meant. Blessings counted.
I spoke a few days ago about Grey. I haven't spoken to him since in any depth -- we briefly touched base on Friday about spending some time together later next month -- but the awkwardness with which we both spoke during that call let me know that he would have rather been speaking to me alone. I wished he had been, for given some of the issues that he is currently dealing with he could use the listening ear. I do wish I could talk to him more often than I do.
Then there was the friend of mine that I learned something new about-- Irish. We were meant to speak together on Thursday afternoon but I have not heard from him since Wednesday afternoon. I grow increasingly concerned about him; it is unlike him to do something like this. I'm worried and I hope he's all right. I hope he'll be around in the morning and I can get some resolution here. It is a shame we weren't able to speak to each other.
And then, lastly, there is HD. After months of barely speaking due to circumstances beyond our control -- geographical ones mostly -- I quite randomly bumped into him this weekend. I'd meant to speak of him here soon and had been thinking of him for the last few days. So I have to think it was more than coincidental that I should run into him like that because it was almost as if I'd conjured him up!
But anyway we spoke, quickly falling back into our comfortable companionship, catching up on each other's lives, a smile on my face the whole time. HD has a natural charisma and his presence is palpable -- he embeds so much personality in everything he says even though it's only words on a screen. If I were to describe him, I'd have to say first that he is the most curious person I think I've ever met. Curious about everything in life, picking apart everything, rubbing the underbelly of all things. That's him. He isn't satisfied with the broad generalities and he doesn't concern himself with propriety when his curiosity is aroused and he knows the person he's speaking to won't be offended by his probes. He is nothing if not a social and psychological coroner, wanting to see, feel, taste and touch every sinew that ties someone together. He is sensuality personified and one of the sexiest men I've ever had the pleasure to meet. I can't wait to meet him face to face one day. I know it'll happen, it's inevitable.
Our friendship is in a state of flux right now. I welcome it. Change is good. He can teach me a lot and I'm ready to learn. I know I've taught him some things; he once told me that if he hadn't met me his life might be a lot different than it currently is. I think that's true and I hope I haven't led him astray.
And here I'd meant my entry to be about why love and sex were fundamentally opposed forces. I'll speak of that too, soon. But synchronicity spoke and I had to answer.
((Song: "Synchronicity I" by the Police. Lyrics here: http://www.scarlet.nl/~gugten/lyric05.htm ))
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