Well, Wednesday was a day of firsts.
1) First time I'd ever been in a courtroom.
2) First time I'd ever been divorced.
3) First time I met my exh's girlfriend.
Went to court on Wednesday and although I was totally stressed that the judge would refuse to allow our unique take on child support (we were exchanging an asset in lieu of it) he looked at it for all of 20 seconds, asked us both if we were amenable to it, and then said it's granted and ushered us off to get our paperwork from the baliff.
And just like that, we were divorced. The ex and I blinked at each other and mumbled something along the order of, "Holy cow. What just happened?"
Talk about anticlimactic.
We spent the majority of the day together in one fashion or another. We held hands in the parking lot, went out for coffee, talked about the ending of our relationship and what we wanted to see from it in the future, and all in all it was a meaningful and enjoyable day. It might sound strange to say this, but it ended like it began.....beautifully.
I am indeed a lucky lady.
Later on, I was spending time with BFF. Exh calls me and tells me he'd like me to join him for a meeting about mineral rights for the house, and that we'll need a notary in order for us to sign the paperwork to lease out those rights. He tells me that Yo is a notary and she'd be happy to do it. I ask if he's sure, he says yes, and although I am not at all convinced he realizes that he's delusional, I agree. I admit, I wanted to meet her.
Long story short, I do. She comes over to the house and we introduce ourselves, and I meet her little boy. It's a short visit and a pleasant one, and I experienced no real amount of jealousy for her place with exh. I do admit to a twinge of jealousy when she and kiddo were hugging and talking about getting together but for the most part? I was pretty relaxed, and proud of myself for it.
I thought about it on the way home and I examined my reactions in more detail as I did. I decided some things. No matter what, I'm kiddo's mom and no one will ever replace me in that role in her eyes. Exh told me he has emphasized that fact to both Yo and the kiddo. And really, it is unreasonable of me to expect him not to find enjoyment out of his life, a form of enjoyment I refused to give, and didn't want to, and couldn't. And it is infinitely more preferable to me that my kiddo be comfortable with and actually like the other woman he is with, than have that woman treat her with indifference and cruelty. It says a lot about Yo's character that she enjoys my kiddo's company. I'd rather all my kiddo's close family be enriching to her.
So these are my first days as a newly single woman. Here's to my next phase of life.
((Song: "Free" by Vast. Lyrics here:
http://www.superlyrics.com/lyrics/kGRU0xYFJL@H@c/Free_lyrics_by_VAST.html ))
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