I've been feeling a bit better today about most things.
I got a decent night's sleep last night after indulging in a candy-cane martini and a bit of silly television. That "Singing Bee" is actually fun. I did a pretty good job of it, being the lyrics maven that I am. Hah! And yes, the ghost of BiB skittered through my memory since there's no way in hell I can ever match my lyric skills to his. His ghostly presence in my mind, though, was painted more with the warmth of shared times and less with the bitter edge of regret. It is too bad that we no longer speak. It would have been pleasant for both of us to do some mutual exchanging of tales of how we kicked lyrical ass.
My more even-toned feelings have to do with some financial situations I'm taking care of. I went and bought a bed for myself and spent an extra $100, thinking that instead of skimping on a purchase it would be best for me to spend a bit extra and get more wear and tear out of it. No, I don't plan on doing any late-night romps with anyone for at least a year -- and this is a vow I've made to myself that I don't intend to break (except for one person who shall heretofore remain nameless) -- but just that the bed is going to have to last for years. In purchases like this you get what you pay for. I was proud of myself for being a bit pre-emptive and not listening to my more cheapskate side. Hah!
I've signed myself up for a high-yield interest savings account and transferred some funds over to it. Not much, but it's a start. I intend to get my ass out of the nearly $7k debt that I am taking out of my marriage. I don't know how long it will take but I will do it. I am also signing up for direct deposit and transferring a certain amount immediately to my high-yield savings account.
I'm going to have the time to sit down and go over things with a fine-toothed comb because I won't have internet in my new apartment for about 10 days and I'll be bored. I'll also make a serious budget and stick to it once I know exactly what amount I can expect of my take home salary minus my healthcare and others expenditures. I sit down today with my HR Manager and will not only do the direct deposit/savings transfer but will also begin a 401K at either 3% or 6% if I think I can do that much. I am 40 and need to consider my later years quickly.
These plans make me feel better and more in control. Taking the reins is giving me a sense of peace even though I am in debt and at a fairly low-paying job. Taking these steps gives me the hope that I can rise and prosper.
Wish me luck!
((Song: "Cuts You Up" by Peter Murphy. Lyrics here: http://www.savedbyzero.org/lyrics/cuts_you_up/ ))
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