I've had a couple of my friends, as well as stbx a few weeks back, ask when I'm going to get back into the dating game.
I suppose the question is warranted. After all, stbx originally thought I was leaving him because I wanted new blood, fresh meat. He thought it was because I was bored with him and needed a new man. I know he realizes now that was not the case, but it was what he thought.
I gave myself a year and I told him so when I left. I still mean it now. It's not even been six months since I left the house I shared with my family. My eyes brim with tears when I think about that and that emotional reaction tells me I am so not ready to date. I'm not in the right mental frame of mind. I still feel like the place where I am, is not home.
Besides, I'm 40. I'm getting older. I'm not an unattractive woman but I haven't ever been the type of woman men walk up to and ask out. Matter of fact, that's never happened to me at all. Ever. But even that is not insurmountable. What is worse is that statistically, the odds are not in my favor. At this stage of the game, men have the edge.
Dating -- or more accurately mating -- is like a pendulum.
Women in their 20's have the largest pool of men to pull from. Guys their own age, guys in their 30's, even their 40's. Hell, they could date a 60-yr old if they wanted to! I don't even need to explain the why of this.
But the pendulum swings when you're my age and heads toward the male side of the spectrum.
For a 20-yr old man, his pool of women includes women his own age and might include the 30-something woman but with some exceptions, that's about the extent of it. But by the time he's in his 40s and 50s his pool of available women has expanded from their 20s through well into their 60s!
So the moral of my story? When you get to be a woman my age, your dating pool becomes less of an Olympic-sized swimming pool and more of a wading pool. Is it any wonder why I don't care to date? Guess I'm just not feeling all that competitive lately.
((Song: "Games People Play" by the Alan Parsons Project. Lyrics here:
http://www.theavenueonline.info/site3/lyrics/gameplay.htm ))
2 comments:
It's more like this: there's never been a better time to be a single 40-something woman. I get hit on by men in their 20s through men in their 60s. The real challenge is sifting through the available options, not in finding any to begin with.
While it's true there are certainly creeps around, cheer up, it's a lot better out there than you think! Women always hold the power when it comes to sex ;)
Thanks, D.
Your comments have made me think. I'll probably write a bit about my thoughts soon.
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