We The Jury

I was finally released from jury duty yesterday evening. I served on a criminal trial, one that (I've been told) received a bit of national attention. It's certainly garnered more than enough attention from the news media in my area of the country. Having avoided the news and radios and the like for the last week, I was not aware of its import in the legal world. I'll be interested in reading about the precedent it may or may not have established as the weeks progress.

I can only say that I did what I was charged to do: follow the law. It wasn't pleasant, it certainly wasn't easy, and sometimes it didn't feel "right" -- and I mean that in the moral sense. I was uncomfortably close with the case at times because the defendant in the case reminded me so much of someone close to me, situationally speaking. But given the facts and the law, we had no choice but to do what we did. I've heard people casually pass judgment on what a person should serve or if they should be convicted or worse, say that if they had served on that jury that it would have been easy for them to just render a decision. I say that any person that can say that has either never served on a criminal jury -- where people's real lives and their families are deeply and permanently affected -- or does not have a vital and necessary component to be an effective jury member: compassion.

That might sound counterproductive. But it is not. Having compassion does not mean that one is incapable of following the law. It does not mean that one would follow one's gut instincts and not be able to peer into the objective facts and abide by the rules that our justice system has put in place. Having compassion is vital because without it, our justice system and the people in it lose their heart. No one holding someone's life in your hands as you weigh the facts should be without it.

I did what I knew I had to do, for the victim and for the defendant. I am comfortable with my decision and it is my passionate hope that some good may come out of it. I had to accept the consequences -- one of which was the opportunity for one of the victim's family members to yell at me and tell me that I made a stupid decision. But my objectivity, and that of the jury I served with, was vital in this case -- and in others -- lest we become a nation of vigilantes and murderers in the name of revenge and pain and loss. I would not like to see that happen.

I chose the legal profession to go into, before doing this....before understanding what it meant. I think I chose the right profession. It's going to be hard, but I feel it's the right choice for me. I also feel that everyone should do what I just had to do. I truly believe that feeling the pain of agonizing over the fact that you hold a person's life in your hands has made me think differently. I think it would be one of those lessons that changes a person. It certainly has changed me.

And oh yes, I met a cute juror. I gave him my number unsolicited by him -- the first time I've ever done that in my entire life! He won't call, I have this feeling that he won't call, but that's all right. It was the doing that was the important thing. Whether he calls or not, I've lost nothing, and I gained a bit of confidence.

And there's another matter heavy on my mind, but that I will save for another day soon. I suspect that within a week I'll be making that matter well known.