I went out for coffee last night with Music Man (MM for short), my guitarist ex-coworker. We met at a Starbucks about five minutes from his place and ended up spending a little over an hour drinking and chatting.
He looked the same as I remembered though it's been at least three or four years since we saw each other last. He's only a few years younger than me but no gray yet in his hair, which was still more than a few inches below shoulder length and pulled back in his characteristic ponytail. When he walked in the 'Bucks and saw me in the corner his face lit up in this fantastic grin. That was quite nice to see.
We spent a very pleasant hour or so catching up. I didn't notice too many awkward pauses and topics ranged anywhere from my kiddo to my divorce, to his job and stints in bands and touring, to world events, religion and politics, and our thoughts on relationships. We asked each other why? a lot and reminisced about days at the workplace. We caught each other up on mutual friends and told each other where we were at mentally at this point in our lives.
It wasn't a date. I paid for mine, he paid for his. Neither one of us treated it like a date though I have to admit, he is a very attractive man. I thought so years ago and still think so today. It's funny, though....he just about covers every sort of man I would have never considered dating. Long hair? No dependable employment? A musician? A democrat? A confirmed bachelor?
If he asked me out, I'd go. I like him well enough to continue to spend some time with him. There are more than a few things that would probably make us incompatible over time, but that's not something I'm too concerned about given my thoughts about how I should approach this new phase in my life. I want relaxed, casual, no frills. I listened to him talk about his thoughts about dating and what he wanted and though he was vague, he came across slightly wistful, as if he was about ready to do all the things I've already done and that maybe we're trading places in that arena. I've gone the marriage and family route, he hasn't. He's gone the loner route; I haven't.
Whatever. I enjoyed the time I spent with him. I didn't sense much if any underlying chemistry of attraction between us, though -- he was always a hard read and last night was no different. I've never been sure whether he even found me attractive at all. That doesn't give me too much to bank on as far as going out with him in any aspect other than good friends.
That reminds me of a conversation that HD and I had last night on IM. HD told me that air of reticience that MM had was a good thing; that the sense of mystery he gave me made me all the more interested in him. HD said that it was good for a man to treat me less like a sex object and more like he was pleased to be in my company. Ah, my dear smart HD.
So yes, that's all right, it's nice (not to mention safe) for the men I surround myself with to treat me in a relaxed manner. We had a great time and we spoke of meeting up again soon when he played a gig with his band in the town where I used to live. As we left and we hugged and I breathed in his nice scent, he told me that next time he'd try to get to my neck of the woods.
I think I'll be looking forward to that.
((Song: "Movie Man" by the Osmonds. Lyrics here:
http://thefamily.com/thefamily.com/theplan/songs/movieman.html ))
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